How I truly came to Christ happened through a severe heartbreak. When I came to Eastman, I came leaving a boyfriend at home. I had been dating someone I had known for years, and have wanted to get to know more. Once he and I realized that we were pretty much perfect for each other, everything went up hill from there. From all the time we spent together riding bikes on the bike trail, going on walks by the river, and having deep conversations about life and one another, I fell for him, and I fell hard. After going to prom together and spending the entire night together until morning, he proposed to me. He expressed his deep love for me, and how after spending the night together, that he never wanted to leave my side again. I accepted. Although there was never a ring, he said he was going to get me a ring once he graduated from high school (he is a year younger than me).
Since he and I devoted ourselves to one another, we began to act like a married couple: mentally, physically, emotionally, everything. One night it got out of control, and his mother found out what we were up to. She kindly asked me to leave, and at that moment, I knew our lives would change. His mother took me away from him. She limited our communication and when we would see each other, she also read and listened to everything I told him. It was horrific. I felt like my life was over.
Once I left for Eastman, things got worse. I heard his voice maybe twice a week for thirty minutes at a time, and received e-mails through his new secret account that his mom never knew about. It was hard, loving someone that was barely there. Even when I went home for breaks, we would see each other once for about six hours. Although we took advantage of our time together, it was hard to express our feelings toward one another because all we did was cry in each other’s arms.
The more apart he and I were, the more he decided to find a way to branch out. Since I was not physically there all the time, he found friendship among his friends at school. Because of that, he found himself hanging out with his friends more, and sending me less e-mails. At one point, when I realized that he had not even told me that he loved me in over a week, I knew something was wrong.
When I asked him what was going on, he told me he was not sure if he loved me anymore. He told me I had changed, that he did not know me anymore. I was furious: after all that has happened, after all that he did and said to me, he did not love me?! Without giving him a say, I broke up with him. I said, “why should I be with someone that does not love me?” That day I recall all too well. Once I hung up the phone, I found myself crying my eyes out to my Christian friend Grace. Grace, being one of my new friends, was there for me. She held me real close. I had never felt that kind of comfort before. She said that this was all in God’s plan, and that His plan is perfect. She even prayed for me. She prayed that I would find happiness through God, that God would heal my pain. That night I ended up calling him back. He was hurt beyond belief that I had to beg him to come to an agreement. We agreed to take a break until I came home for Christmas, and we would discuss our future then.
Hearing the one you love tell you to get away from them is not a great feeling. For about a month, I cried myself to sleep every night. I was in so much pain. I gave myself to him, and for what? It was all a waste. I have always been a firm believer that if someone cares about you, they will never disappoint you. So, this was a horrific time in my life. When I went home for Christmas break, the longer I never heard from him, the more pain I was in. I cried the entire time I was home. One day I cried for nine hours straight. Every time I cried, I prayed to God “please heal my pain. I cannot deal with this anymore. Please help me to be a better person- that is all my boyfriend has asked for. Please make me a better person for him.”
I went back to school three weeks later never hearing from my boyfriend. Although you expect me to say that I have been in misery since then, I have good news. Exciting news. Upon stepping my foot back at Eastman, I felt a desire to attend church and to read God’s word. I thank God for Grace because she gave me one of the most wonderful gifts I have ever received; a Bible. In this Bible, all of the encouraging verses are highlighted in pink. This is great because before never reading the Bible in my life, I can now read what parts can really help me. Right now I want to read you my favorite verse that I stumbled upon my first reading of the Bible: Romans 5: 1-5 –“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”
I started to read this Bible, and I can seriously say after about a week of wanting more of God, the pain I was feeling about my boyfriend miraculously disappeared. I have found my Savior, Jesus Christ, who died for all of our sins, who died for all the pain that we may go through, that I went through! Jesus loves all, and best of all, He loves me! –one who gave up everything for a guy that did not care for me in the end. Through Jesus Christ, God healed my pain, giving me what I have always been looking for; love. I have received the love of God. After losing a boyfriend and possibly my future husband, I have found God who loves all of his people, who never wants his people to feel pain or suffering. Because of God, I stand here today to tell you my story! If this testimony is not proof of God, then I do not know what is! I have been healed through the deepest of times, and because of God’s love, I am able to stand tall and trust in Him always. So please, if you are suffering, or have suffered, think about the people in your lives, and how God was or is there. I know for a fact that Jesus is waiting for you. All you have to do is ask for Him to present Himself to you, and He will. Oh, He will. Amen.
