Wait, I should trust God with MY work?

Recently I heard a friend give his testimony about how he was challenged to not do work on the Sabbath day. On those specific Sabbath days, he had a very important test the next morning, either a midterm or final exam. This happened to him on a few occasions where God challenged him to take a Sabbath and to not study. Although he said this was the hardest thing he had ever done, it tested him how much faith and trust He truly had in God. In the end, this friend of mine said he had never felt so calm going into a test than ever before. Because he put his trust in God, God helped him to succeed on the tests.

After I heard my friend's testimony, I began to wonder how I trust God in my work. Honestly, I didn't want God to be a part of any of my work. You want to know why? It's because I am prideful. I thought, "this is MY work. MY doing. Why should God control all the work I AM doing?"

Although I was/am prideful, I wanted to see what happened if I put my trust in God in my work. I was studying for my music history midterm the day before, and I was honestly feeling not prepared. Even though I went to most of the classes, I did not feel confident about the test. But my friend's testimony came to mind, and I began to pray. I asked God to guide me in my studying. I asked Him to help me to maintain all the information I studied. I even asked God to give me His divine wisdom so I can do well on the test.

The test came, and I truly can say I have never done so well on a midterm since I've been at Eastman. Because I put my trust in God, He helped me to do well in my class.

Recently, I took my music history final. The same situation came up. I was freaking out about the final because I had no time to study until the day before. With the final, there was a lot more information to learn and memorize compared to the midterm exam. I began to pray to God and asked Him to plan out my studying. I received an answer, and He helped me to know that I should study only until 9pm the night before, and for no longer than six hours.

Within every study break that I took, I prayed to God. I asked Him to keep me focused and to guide me. I asked Him what I needed to do in order to please Him. I realized that as long as I trust Him, His guidance will give me peace.

The day of the test came, and I felt very calm. Even when I thought I didn't know the answer, I prayed to God, and He gave me the answer. He was with me the entire time during the test. And because I put my trust in Him, I have received the best grade I have ever gotten from any of the music courses I have taken at Eastman. When you put your trust in God, He will do everything He can to help you.

Proverbs 3: 5-8 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.

Trials

Hello, readers!

I'm sorry it has been a while since I have last written. Honestly, I have had a rough semester, and while God has answered my prayers and has been very faithful, I wanted to keep them to myself.

But today, I want to do a post about trials. For everyone, there is always something that hinders us from wanting to succeed. There is always that one thing that makes us not acceptable in society. We all struggle with our behavior towards one another, or we may have a disability that we cannot control. Once we realize we have no control over our lives, we feel hopeless. I'm sure we have all felt this way at some point.

In the Bible, it talks about the trials of the Christian life. Once people accept Christ as their Lord and Savior, God warns us that living for Christ is not easy. In fact, there will be many sufferings along with it. But how so? When I accepted Christ as my Savior two years ago, I was put through many trials, and will continue to be put in trials for the rest of my life. We go through trials because God wants us to become more like His Son, Jesus. Jesus is the only being to be perfect and sinless. Therefore, to become more like Him, we need to be put through struggles and hard situations in order to get rid of our sin, for we only learn from our mistakes.

Here is a verse that puts this into perspective:
1 Peter 5: 10 "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast."

We go through trials and rough times because God wants us to be strong, firm in our faith, and constantly looking to Him for guidance.

I write this blog because I'm having a really hard time this semester playing horn. My jaw has never been in this much pain before, and I'm seriously considering dropping my performance degree, and have been thinking about quitting horn all together, forever. I can't handle all of the playing anymore and I can't practice anymore. But, there is good news. God is faithful, and always answers prayers. He has given me the strength this semester to get through every single performance, ranging from a five minute performance to an hour. And when we conquer our rough times in Christ, God gives us a promise.

James 1: 12 "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."

No matter how much we are hurting or how we are feeling hopeless, there IS hope! God promises life forever with Him in heaven, as long as we persevere through the trial and love Him. Isn't that something to look forward to? I sure think it is. So don't lose hope! Because there is a reward for persevering through trials.

Psalm 23
"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

God's goodness in hardship

Hello, readers! I realize I have not posted in two months. God has definitely revealed many things to me these past two months, and I want to share!

In the Bible, God says He controls all things. He knows our inmost thoughts, He knows our desires, He knows our needs. God knows everything about us because He created us (Genesis 1: 1-2, 27). But, because we are sinners, do we really know what we need to live this life on earth?

I became to ponder that question this summer. Do I know what I need in order to live a happy life? I prayed sincerely for God's thoughts to be my thoughts, His desires to be my desires, His needs to be my needs.

I began to see how I was living my life in a selfish way. Yes, I was praying for my struggles and for my sin to not control my life, but I was praying for the wrong reasons. I did not want to learn from my mistakes. I only wanted God to make it all better so I would not have to suffer anymore.

Now that I am striving to live the life God created for me, my life has drastically changed. I am beginning to see God's goodness in everything, even in hardship and tribulation. I can see His love when people I trust say something that turns me off, because it ultimately makes me trust God more.

Here is a verse that clarifies what I am trying to say:
Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Even when it seems like our lives are horrible and everyone is against you, God is not. God loves you so much that He will let us fall, only so we can trust Him more. God wants us to live for Him and give praise and glory to Him. If God does not let us suffer, how will we ever see His goodness? God provides to those who desire Him, and is always faithful.

Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Is God Good?

In this post, I want to talk about how God answered one of my prayers, and used it for His glory.


Within the past few months, I have been praying about how I would share my testimony of faith with my grandparents.


I got a call on July 5 at 8am. It was my uncle, whom I did not talk to very much. He begged me to get my dad's number. He did not explain why, so I asked. All he said was.. your grandfather died in his sleep last night. As hard it is for me to write a blog about this, I must.. because even during the darkest of times, God has a plan.


I was very upset. I have not cried so hard in my life. I was wailing. My Grandpa "Poppy" Duffy passed at the age of 71. He was very young. Yes, he had complications and was overweight, but he was getting better. When I heard of his passing, I was very angry at God. I did not know why God let this happen, let alone let this happen now while I am away from my family. It all happened so fast.. I felt like it was my fault. I felt so guilty for not sharing my new views on life with him. I was planning on telling him about it in August.. but now it is too late.


Once I was at the funeral, I still did not understand why God let this happen. All of my family was deeply hurt. They did not understand, either. My grandma, who was married to my grandfather for over 50 years, and had been with him since she was 14, was in denial. We all were! And still am, unfortunately.


Now that it has been 3 weeks since his passing, I have started to see how God would use this for our own good. I understand that using my grandfather's death for our own good is ridiculous, but, God has shown me His plan. Do you want to know how God used this for His glory?


There are many things that God has done in order to heal the pain, but also bring Him glory. First off, God used me to encourage my family. I read the Bible to my family, and I basically shared my testimony of faith with my grandma. She was deeply moved by it, and even acknowledged that Christ died for her sins. My grandfather's death has also brought the family closer together. I talk and email my grandma many times a week, and my dad calls her everyday. In fact, the entire Duffy family is in contact with each other more frequently.


As awful as death is, God has a plan for all of us. So, the question is, is God good? Does He know what He is doing? Does He have a plan that is perfect? YES! Yes, He does! God has done good things through this.


I know I used this verse in my last blog, but, I want to post it again.
Jeremiah 29: 11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I Need A Sign

It was 2:00am. I was sitting outside waiting for a sign from God. I said out loud, "do you even hear me?" I found myself in a very lonely place, questioning God, saying that life is not fair.


I was reminded of Romans 1:19- 20a. "Since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities- his eternal power and divine nature- have been clearly seen..."


After complaining about how sad I was feeling at the time, God revealed Himself to me. All of a sudden, something formed into the sky. As I looked up, I saw five streams of clouds. The clouds formed some sort of funnel. There were five different funnel clouds, which eventually met at a point in the sky. The clouds met where the moon was. This looked like a large hand reaching out in the sky. Where the "fingers" met, the moon was the center. And as I looked at the moon, I saw something so clear to me that I fell to the ground and began to sob. It was The Cross.


When you think you are all alone, you are not. God, the Creator of the Universe, hears all things. He hears all our cries, all our suffering, all our pain. God knows us inside and out. He knows what we need, and knows what we want. He is our Father in heaven, always loving us and watching over us.


Jeremiah 29: 11-14 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity."

Prayer is Powerful

Hello, readers.

I want to share a prayer with you that has been answered. If you have been reading my posts, some of my answered prayers surprised me, even making me take a step backward. In this answered prayer of mine, I want you all to understand how powerful prayer is. Be careful what you pray for, because God definitely answers.

Now that I am home for a few weeks, I have asked God to help me to serve. I really have a passion for helping the helpless, because I used to be helpless, searching for something more. I asked God to help me to serve someone in need. With this prayer, I was expecting God to send me to a homeless shelter, or to serve food at a church related event.

Instead, God does something completely different. Someone I know was just evicted from his home with no reason at all. The owner didn't care... He kicked his renter out without any notice. Now what? Where is he going to stay? What about his mom? How are they going to get food? They have no car, no home.. nothing.

My family has graciously let him into our home while his mother is with her sister. We cleaned out the apartment his family was evicted from, taking all of his belongings that were still in good shape. We threw many things out that were dirty and were rotting. Right now, our home is a mess because we are storing all of his family's items. My mom is stressed because we are trying to find a new home for them. We are also watching their young dog, Sashi, all day long because she is too scared to be by herself.

What's worse is that some people are questioning our motives. "Why help the helpless?" They say... "It's all their fault that they are so poor! They are too lazy to do anything for themselves!" When God brought my sister's friend to us, I asked why. Isn't that our usual reaction? God, why do you put something in front of our path? God, why do you ruin my plans? Why did you let this happen?

This is what Jesus says about helping the needy.

Matthew 5: 46-48 "If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

This verse is extremely valid. What reward will any of us gain if we only serve people we know? What will we gain from serving the people who are loved, and not serving the people who are not loved?

I asked God to help me to serve, and now I am. God has given me and the rest of my family a task, and that is to continue to put the family on the right track, and to provide for them. If we do not help, who will?

Prayer is powerful. And so is God. Remember to thank God for His answered prayers because He wants us to learn how to be like His Son, Jesus Christ, who loves and serves all who are in need.

Letting Go

A prayer of mine has been answered, and I want to share it. Also, God is teaching me to do the same right now.

For the past few months, I have been praying for someone who defines their life according to the materials they own. His whole life, he has collected cars, paintings, clocks.. and the list goes on. How I know he defines his life in these things is his attitude towards them. Whenever I see him, these items are the center of the conversation. He talks about how neat they are, or how they make him happy.

This man has been hanging onto an item that he thought was protecting him. It is a coin with an angel on it. Because he is dying of cancer, he figured he did not need it anymore. Also, because he knows of my faith in God and angels, he gave it to me. His words were "I know you believe in angels very much. I do too. I have been keeping a hold of this coin for many years, but, I do not need it anymore. I want you to have it now."

It was a very strange moment for me to receive the coin because I was not sure what to think. Is it good that he is giving me the coin, or is it bad? Overall, I see that he is letting go of something that used to defy himself. He finally let go of something he believed protected him. He is letting go of a material item, and moving forward in search of something new.

With him, his main struggle in life is holding onto material items and having them define his life. For me, it is letting go of my past. Although I am thankful for the life that I have and for Jesus Christ saving me, I lived 18 years without knowing Jesus, I am ashamed of what I have done, and I am still deeply heart broken. But, Jesus says to always look to Him. God wants us to be labeled as His child. We should identify ourselves with Jesus, and when we do, God sees us through His Son, who is sinless and loving. Is there something in your life that is not allowing you to identify with Jesus? Here is a verse that puts our views into perspective:


Colossians 3: 1-4 "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory."

Encouraging Songs

Here are some lyrics that I enjoy listening to and being encouraged by that represent God's Word into song.

"You are More" by Tenth Avenue North
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

"Oh My Dear" by Tenth Avenue North
Oh, my dear, I'll wait for you
Grace tonight will pull us through
Until the tears have left your eyes
Until the fear can sleep at night
Until the demons that you're scared of
Disappear inside
Until the scale begins to crack
And this weight falls from your back
Oh, my dear, I'll keep you in my arms tonight

"Praise You in this Storm" by Casting Crowns
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm


"Blessings" by Laura Story
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

"Overcome" by Jeremy Camp
Seated above, enthroned in the Father's love
Destined to die, poured out for all mankind
God's only Son, perfect and spotless one
He never sinned but suffered as if He did
All authority
Every victory is Yours
All authority
Every victory is Yours
Savior, worthy of honor and glory
Worthy of all our praise, You overcame
Jesus, awesome in power forever
Awesome and great is Your name, You overcame
Power in hand speaking the Father's plan
You're sending us out, light in this broken land
We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb
And the word of our testimony, everyone overcome

"Someone Worth Dying For" by Mikeschair
You might be the wife waiting up at night
You might be the man struggling to provide
Feeling like it's hopeless
Maybe you're the son who chose a broken road
Maybe you're the girl thinking you'll end up alone
Praying God, can You hear me?
Oh, God, are You listening?
Am I more than flesh and bone?
Am I really something beautiful?
Yeah, I wanna believe
I wanna believe that
I'm not just some wandering soul
That You don't see and You don't know
Yeah, I wanna believe, Jesus, help me believe
That I am someone worth dying for
I know you've heard the truth that God has set you free
But you think you're the one that grace could never reach
So you just keep asking
Oh, what everybody's asking
Am I more than flesh and bone?
Am I really something beautiful?
Yeah I wanna believe
I wanna believe that
That I'm not just some wandering soul
That You don't see and You don't know
Yeah, I wanna believe, Jesus, help me believe
That I am someone worth dying for
You're worth it, you can't earn it
Yeah, the cross has proven
That You're sacred and blameless
Your life has purpose
You are more than flesh and bone
Can't you see, you're something beautiful?
Yes, you gotta believe, you gotta believe
He wants you to see, He wants you to see
That you're not just some wandering soul
That can't be seen and can't be known
Yeah, you gotta believe, you gotta believe that you are
Someone worth dying for

I pray that these songs are an encouragement to you, and you consider listening to them.

Broken Heart

Hello readers!

God this past month has convicted me of my sin and how I do not love people as much as I should. It has been especially difficult for me to see people that I really care about who are deeply hurt, which makes me hurt and cry for them.
If you are hurting, I have some encouraging words to share with you. I hope that God's love for all of you will show you just how important you are to Him... and knowing that God is always listening.

Psalm 10:18 "But the needy will not always be forgotten, nor the hope of the afflicted ever perish."

Psalm 10:17 "You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry..."

Psalm 18:6 "In my distress I called to the Lord, I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears."

Psalm 22:24 "For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help."

Psalm 31:7 "I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul."

Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears."

Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirits."

Psalm 40:1-2 "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand."

Psalm 55:16-17 "But I call to God, and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice."

Psalm 86:15 "But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness."

Psalm 109:31 "For he stands at the right hand of the needy one, to save his life from those who condemn him."

Psalm 138:7 "Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me."

Psalm 145:8-9 "The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made."

Psalm 147:3 "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

And now for my favorite verse that ultimately showed me how much God loves me.

Romans 5: 1-5 "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."


Please know that God loves you so much.

God is Perfect, So Why Should We Be?

These past few weeks I have been struggling with perfection, and how it has always failed me. I want to share a conversation I had with a horn teacher during my lesson, and how it changed my mind on how I see God in relation to His people.

I was playing the Bach Cello Suite IV- Sarabande and Bourree (incase you want to look it up). As I played, I started to miss more notes as I went on, and I eventually stopped saying "ugh! why am I missing so many notes?!" I was not happy with myself and even mad that I could not play all the notes.

Upon discovering my faith, the teacher was able to give me Godly advice because she is a Christian, too. She said something like "Now Emily, you know the Lord is all knowing and powerful. He has created us in His image, and He loves us very much! Do you think He will hate you if you miss a note?" Of course I laughed and realized no, of course not. She continued to say that God is perfect, therefore there is no reason we have to be! If we were perfect, then we would be our own god.

I was baffled. I couldn't believe I was trying to be so perfect. Why be so perfect when God is? He is the only perfect living being, and He sets the standard. The teacher continued to say "Emily, just let go and play for your God! He gave you the gift to play the horn, now play with a beautiful sound, and play for Him!"

The battle is already won when Jesus Christ died on the cross and defeated sin. So why should I try and not acknowledge it with playing horn? God has given me Jesus so I do not have to try and be perfect. What I'm really saying is, why do we try so hard to succeed? The only important success is Jesus dying on the cross for His people and saving all of us from sin! That is the only thing we should look to, and nothing more or less. Jesus is our perfection, we are His people, and we need to live life for Him for all that He has done for us. Amen.

Does God Hear My Prayer?

Within this past month, God has answered a prayer in such a powerful and unexpected way and I want to share. Once again I will be somewhat vague.

Last December I formed a group that rehearsed music together for an upcoming recital in February. The rehearsals in the beginning were wonderful. We all got along, and we accomplished many things. However, the longer we were together, the more we rehearsed, and the more I was criticized.

One of the members was not satisfied with our playing. They insisted on rehearsing 6 days a week for an hour or more. Because the recital was a month and a half away, I did not give it much thought.

Eventually, my jaw could not handle all of the playing anymore. It got to a point where I had to cancel lessons, and not have any personal practice time. I asked the group to limit our rehearsals to twice a week. The response I got was that I was not serious, I am bringing the group down, my injury is a lie, I am unprofessional, etc.

Although I try to be strong, I could not handle the personal attacks. I prayed to God about what should I do. Should I quit and find a sub, or should I deal with the disrespect until the recital is over? I prayed about it for a long time, and I did not get a clear answer, so I decided to find a sub. When I asked for a sub, no one could meet all the requirements of rehearsals and performances. I believed at the time that God meant for me to perform, and wanted me to learn how to deal with these kinds of situations.

The day of the performance came. That morning, I woke up feeling a little warm and dizzy, but I thought nothing of it. I ended up throwing up that morning, and I eventually stayed in my bed for three days with the flu.

I know it is hard to understand how God answers prayers, but sometimes He answers it in a way that we do not expect. My flu was unexpected, and the symptoms came all at once. It was clear that God did not want me to perform with the group, and I am glad that I did not. This prayer helped me to learn that not all things are answered right away, and we have to prepare for what can happen. Thankfully, I found a sub last minute who did both of the performances. It amazes me how God answered this prayer, and how He was looking after me the whole time.

Why Me, God?

Hello, all! I'm glad to be back again to write about an experience that God has given me. I hope that you all can read this and apply it to your life!

This past week has been quite an emotional rollercoaster for me. I have been losing sleep, and on top of that, it seemed to me that other people forgot about me. I'm going to be somewhat vague because I do not want to say specific names or events.

Anyway, everything lead up to last night. Someone told me something, and it made me lose control. The tears came down my face, and all I asked was, "why me God? why me?...." I was confused why God would let me suffer so. The act of crying hurts me so much because it reminds me the last time I truly cried. I wasn't sure what to do. Should I hide myself? Should I just act as if I am ok?

God reminded me of a verse that I have on a bracelet which says "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4) This verse reminded me of all that God has given me, all that He has done for me in the past year. He has given me wonderful friends, a family who is starting to come to Christ, and the strength to help me to pull through my TMJD everyday. I thought, so why should I ask God "why?" He has given me all that I need now. And although there is more that I want, He will give it to me in time. That's what happened to me last night. I was angry that God did not give me what someone else now has. But, so what? God has given me Jesus Christ, the One and Only Savior that always wants me to come back to Him.

I ended up doing something after this thought process that I have never done before. I praised God, I thanked Him for what He has given me, and for giving me life. I thanked God even for my suffering because I know that he will give me what I want soon. All I have to do is be patient, and wait.

Do you see yourself impatient? Know that there is always a plan for you, and God does care. God gives you what you want and need when the time is right.

A Year Renewed

About a year ago today, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. In this post I want to explain how my life has changed, and the impact the Bible has made.


A year ago, I was going through a really rough break-up. It was hard for me to let go, forgive him, and move on. That was my first trial that God put me through. Born a sinner, I have always held grudges against others. Sometimes they even lasted for years... This first trial was very difficult for me to go through. I want to emphasize that becoming a Christian and accepting Jesus is not always happy. Jesus made me realize all the imperfections that I have because I am a sinner. I realized I had so much anger for my ex boyfriend that hurt me really badly, never apologizing for anything. But, with Jesus at my side, I was able to get over it and move on. Although it took me about a year to forgive and forget, Jesus showed me that as long as I believe in Him, He will help me get through anything.


The hardship did not end there. Disappointment upon disappointment came throughout the semester, especially when I was diagnosed with TMJD. God decided to take away my ability to play the horn whenever I wanted to. God said that I was depending on my musical abilities, and less on Him. It was tough first hearing the news. I was really angry and upset. But now that I have Jesus, He has already won the battle by His resurrection (dying for me so I can live), so why should I depend on my horn? God has shown me to use Him for strength, and not rely on my own.


I would not be the person I am today without God giving me these trials to try and make myself more of an image that He created me to be. With these imperfections, God has given me trials to become a better person, and less of a sinner. Yes, I still have many, and I mean many more things to work on as I walk with Christ, but, what makes me weak will only make me stronger.


Please know that no matter your views on Christianity, people on the earth are given difficulties to deal with: depression, homosexuality, learning disabilities, social anxiety, are to name a few. And with these difficulties, God makes us a better, stronger person afterward. Over the past year I have gotten so much stronger in my faith, and in my reliance on God. He fixes everything, as long as we ask him honestly, and whole-heartedley.

We're Not Alone

In this post it will be mainly for my fellow Christian-believers, but, anyone is welcome to read and interpret.

I have been home for four weeks, and I have to say that I have been quite lonely. I am the only Christian in my household, so it is tough wanting to talk about God. It has been frustrating because I only know of a few believers that I went to high school with. Although we still talk about life and God, it doesn't feel like enough.

In my prayers, I've been asking God to let me meet new people who have faith in Jesus. I pray this because I want to become more involved in my community and become a member of a church.

What amazes me is how God has answered my prayer. Now a believer, I have met and talked to many people who believe in the Bible. An instance includes spending time with some people on New Years Eve. Only knowing one friend going in, I now know people who believe in God's Word, and live it out. It's amazing how God brings His people together.

Another instance when God brought me to His people was when I attended a church last Sunday. At this church, there were many people that my family has known for years... I also met some more people who were pleased to have us visit their church.

It is hard living in a world where some people hate God and despise everything about Christianity. But, God reminds us that we are not alone, and He will do whatever it takes to bring His people together. I have experienced God opening my eyes to see and meet more of His people, and it excites me to want to meet even more.

Dear Readers

I want to thank you all for reading my blog. After looking at my statistics, it amazes me how many people have been reading it. I've been getting views from cell phones, google searches, AND from different countries!! It means a lot to me that you are reading what kind of life God has given me, and the experiences within it.

I also want to take this time to reiterate why I have this blog in the first place. I am trying to be what's called "a witness." Witnesses give testimonies about their life experiences, and I am giving mine about Christ.

Many people in this world are trying to discover true happiness. Some go exercising- and I know, exercising does bring me some happiness, but not true happiness. Some like to go and spend a lot of time with their friends- and while that is true, one cannot depend on their friends all the time because they can disappoint you. The purpose of this blog is to show each and every one of you that I have found true happiness and peace through God and our Savior Jesus Christ. I have never felt so happy and complete in my life. I am truly happy, and I only wish for you to have the same.

I also want you to know that now being a Christian, it is a continuous struggle. Because we are all born sinners from the fall of Adam, we want wordly things. Everywhere I look there is something that I want in this world. But, God gives us all that we need to survive, as long as we pray about it earnestly, honestly, and with a loving heart.

This New Year, I want to be able to see with my own eyes someone that accepts Jesus into their life. He fulfills anything that we have ever asked for. Please consider my blog posts as pure experiences that God has given me. They are of truth, nothing added or subtracted. I pray that you all continue to read my experiences with God and His Son. God Bless!