These past few weeks I have been struggling with perfection, and how it has always failed me. I want to share a conversation I had with a horn teacher during my lesson, and how it changed my mind on how I see God in relation to His people.
I was playing the Bach Cello Suite IV- Sarabande and Bourree (incase you want to look it up). As I played, I started to miss more notes as I went on, and I eventually stopped saying "ugh! why am I missing so many notes?!" I was not happy with myself and even mad that I could not play all the notes.
Upon discovering my faith, the teacher was able to give me Godly advice because she is a Christian, too. She said something like "Now Emily, you know the Lord is all knowing and powerful. He has created us in His image, and He loves us very much! Do you think He will hate you if you miss a note?" Of course I laughed and realized no, of course not. She continued to say that God is perfect, therefore there is no reason we have to be! If we were perfect, then we would be our own god.
I was baffled. I couldn't believe I was trying to be so perfect. Why be so perfect when God is? He is the only perfect living being, and He sets the standard. The teacher continued to say "Emily, just let go and play for your God! He gave you the gift to play the horn, now play with a beautiful sound, and play for Him!"
The battle is already won when Jesus Christ died on the cross and defeated sin. So why should I try and not acknowledge it with playing horn? God has given me Jesus so I do not have to try and be perfect. What I'm really saying is, why do we try so hard to succeed? The only important success is Jesus dying on the cross for His people and saving all of us from sin! That is the only thing we should look to, and nothing more or less. Jesus is our perfection, we are His people, and we need to live life for Him for all that He has done for us. Amen.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Does God Hear My Prayer?
Within this past month, God has answered a prayer in such a powerful and unexpected way and I want to share. Once again I will be somewhat vague.
Last December I formed a group that rehearsed music together for an upcoming recital in February. The rehearsals in the beginning were wonderful. We all got along, and we accomplished many things. However, the longer we were together, the more we rehearsed, and the more I was criticized.
One of the members was not satisfied with our playing. They insisted on rehearsing 6 days a week for an hour or more. Because the recital was a month and a half away, I did not give it much thought.
Eventually, my jaw could not handle all of the playing anymore. It got to a point where I had to cancel lessons, and not have any personal practice time. I asked the group to limit our rehearsals to twice a week. The response I got was that I was not serious, I am bringing the group down, my injury is a lie, I am unprofessional, etc.
Although I try to be strong, I could not handle the personal attacks. I prayed to God about what should I do. Should I quit and find a sub, or should I deal with the disrespect until the recital is over? I prayed about it for a long time, and I did not get a clear answer, so I decided to find a sub. When I asked for a sub, no one could meet all the requirements of rehearsals and performances. I believed at the time that God meant for me to perform, and wanted me to learn how to deal with these kinds of situations.
The day of the performance came. That morning, I woke up feeling a little warm and dizzy, but I thought nothing of it. I ended up throwing up that morning, and I eventually stayed in my bed for three days with the flu.
I know it is hard to understand how God answers prayers, but sometimes He answers it in a way that we do not expect. My flu was unexpected, and the symptoms came all at once. It was clear that God did not want me to perform with the group, and I am glad that I did not. This prayer helped me to learn that not all things are answered right away, and we have to prepare for what can happen. Thankfully, I found a sub last minute who did both of the performances. It amazes me how God answered this prayer, and how He was looking after me the whole time.
Last December I formed a group that rehearsed music together for an upcoming recital in February. The rehearsals in the beginning were wonderful. We all got along, and we accomplished many things. However, the longer we were together, the more we rehearsed, and the more I was criticized.
One of the members was not satisfied with our playing. They insisted on rehearsing 6 days a week for an hour or more. Because the recital was a month and a half away, I did not give it much thought.
Eventually, my jaw could not handle all of the playing anymore. It got to a point where I had to cancel lessons, and not have any personal practice time. I asked the group to limit our rehearsals to twice a week. The response I got was that I was not serious, I am bringing the group down, my injury is a lie, I am unprofessional, etc.
Although I try to be strong, I could not handle the personal attacks. I prayed to God about what should I do. Should I quit and find a sub, or should I deal with the disrespect until the recital is over? I prayed about it for a long time, and I did not get a clear answer, so I decided to find a sub. When I asked for a sub, no one could meet all the requirements of rehearsals and performances. I believed at the time that God meant for me to perform, and wanted me to learn how to deal with these kinds of situations.
The day of the performance came. That morning, I woke up feeling a little warm and dizzy, but I thought nothing of it. I ended up throwing up that morning, and I eventually stayed in my bed for three days with the flu.
I know it is hard to understand how God answers prayers, but sometimes He answers it in a way that we do not expect. My flu was unexpected, and the symptoms came all at once. It was clear that God did not want me to perform with the group, and I am glad that I did not. This prayer helped me to learn that not all things are answered right away, and we have to prepare for what can happen. Thankfully, I found a sub last minute who did both of the performances. It amazes me how God answered this prayer, and how He was looking after me the whole time.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Why Me, God?
Hello, all! I'm glad to be back again to write about an experience that God has given me. I hope that you all can read this and apply it to your life!
This past week has been quite an emotional rollercoaster for me. I have been losing sleep, and on top of that, it seemed to me that other people forgot about me. I'm going to be somewhat vague because I do not want to say specific names or events.
Anyway, everything lead up to last night. Someone told me something, and it made me lose control. The tears came down my face, and all I asked was, "why me God? why me?...." I was confused why God would let me suffer so. The act of crying hurts me so much because it reminds me the last time I truly cried. I wasn't sure what to do. Should I hide myself? Should I just act as if I am ok?
God reminded me of a verse that I have on a bracelet which says "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4) This verse reminded me of all that God has given me, all that He has done for me in the past year. He has given me wonderful friends, a family who is starting to come to Christ, and the strength to help me to pull through my TMJD everyday. I thought, so why should I ask God "why?" He has given me all that I need now. And although there is more that I want, He will give it to me in time. That's what happened to me last night. I was angry that God did not give me what someone else now has. But, so what? God has given me Jesus Christ, the One and Only Savior that always wants me to come back to Him.
I ended up doing something after this thought process that I have never done before. I praised God, I thanked Him for what He has given me, and for giving me life. I thanked God even for my suffering because I know that he will give me what I want soon. All I have to do is be patient, and wait.
Do you see yourself impatient? Know that there is always a plan for you, and God does care. God gives you what you want and need when the time is right.
This past week has been quite an emotional rollercoaster for me. I have been losing sleep, and on top of that, it seemed to me that other people forgot about me. I'm going to be somewhat vague because I do not want to say specific names or events.
Anyway, everything lead up to last night. Someone told me something, and it made me lose control. The tears came down my face, and all I asked was, "why me God? why me?...." I was confused why God would let me suffer so. The act of crying hurts me so much because it reminds me the last time I truly cried. I wasn't sure what to do. Should I hide myself? Should I just act as if I am ok?
God reminded me of a verse that I have on a bracelet which says "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4) This verse reminded me of all that God has given me, all that He has done for me in the past year. He has given me wonderful friends, a family who is starting to come to Christ, and the strength to help me to pull through my TMJD everyday. I thought, so why should I ask God "why?" He has given me all that I need now. And although there is more that I want, He will give it to me in time. That's what happened to me last night. I was angry that God did not give me what someone else now has. But, so what? God has given me Jesus Christ, the One and Only Savior that always wants me to come back to Him.
I ended up doing something after this thought process that I have never done before. I praised God, I thanked Him for what He has given me, and for giving me life. I thanked God even for my suffering because I know that he will give me what I want soon. All I have to do is be patient, and wait.
Do you see yourself impatient? Know that there is always a plan for you, and God does care. God gives you what you want and need when the time is right.
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