Something really amazing happened to me the other day and I really want to share.
Last April, I was diganosed with TMJD. I talked about this in one of my last posts if you want some details...
but anyway, my jaw has been really irritated because I have been doing a lot more playing lately. I've had a lot of performances in the past week. Being a performer, I know that performing has a different mentality compared to personal practice (at least for me). So, with all these performances, my jaw has had enough. It has been popping constantly. My neck and back have been tense for two weeks. I have been getting shooting pain up from my back all the way up to my jaw at least 20 times a day now (which is REALLY BAD). You can imagine the pain that I have been feeling..
Last Monday, I had a very strenuous day. I had an oboe class for an hour, an hour and a half of large ensemble rehearsal, 15 minute performance in studio, a 15 minute chamber music performance, and a 15 minute jury. All of these required a lot of concentration out of me. By the time I finished my chamber performance, I was in tears because my jaw would not stop shaking in the entire performance, and my back and neck hurt a whole lot. I knew that I would not be able to do my jury.
As I was packing my horn, I was wondering how I would tell my horn professor that I cannot do my jury (which has already been delayed from a year prior). I came out of the green room, and my two best friends were there to greet me. God does amazing things because this was not planned. I broke into tears.. They prayed for me for ten minutes. Although I still felt like a mess, I decided to go read some Bible verses before I go see my teacher. I ended up reading Isaiah 41 and 43. One verse stuck out that said "Do not be afraid, for I am with you." Wow! God is with me? When God is by my side, I can do anything! I decided to write down as many verses as I could on my sheet of music. I wanted to perform. Most importantly, I needed God to be my strength because I clearly had none.
My teacher heard about my busy day and asked me if I wanted to not play. I told him that no, I am ready to play, and I want to. I went in, and before I played any note, I read the verses on my page. Then the most amazing thing happened. The pain disappeared. It was completely gone! Even when I felt like my jaw could not handle it any longer, I remembered that one verse, and God pulled me through. I survived my performance, and not only so, God performed through me! I have never felt such strength from God ever before. God is so faithful. Without Him in my life, I know for a fact my horn playing would not be existing now. The only reason why I can play horn now is because I trust in God, and He gives me His strength, and never fails to do so. AMEN!
2 Corinthians 12: 7-10
"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power ismade perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
